Sick of asshole lawyers charging you for tips? Can’t find any good law lessons online? You’ve come to the right place. To clarify, I am not a lawyer, nor do I watch TV legal drama’s. That said, lets get right to it:
- Stare down the Jury. Subtly Insinuate somehow that you know where their loved ones reside. Those pussies will surely put the verdict in your favour.
- Immediately declare you don’t recognize the validity of the court. Put on a judge costume, complete with powdered wig, and put THEM on trial.
- You have the right to remain silent. You also have the right to say whatever the hell you want. Remind that arresting officer how stupid you think he and the law is again and again. Surely, you’ll wear him down and walk free.
- One phone call? 1-900 it up.
- Show up late for court. Judge will pretend he thinks you’re in contempt of court, but deep inside, he’ll think you’re cool for being so Hollywood.
- Want to meet a hero? Call them as a witness.
- A pre-trial drink is good way to soothe the nerves.
- Lie on the stand, especially if you’re guilty. Who wants to go to jail? Not you.
- Get a smoking hot lawyer with smoking hot tits, especially if you’re guilty. Continually throw evidence and court papers on the ground for her to pick up.
If you need any more advice, please feel free to contact me for more free information.